Sunday, Feb. 29, 2004 - 8:31 p.m.

MEN!

I'm so frustrated right now.

Why? Why do I allow myself to let my day be swayed towards feeling light and fluffy or dark and heavy according to what is happening in my life regarding a man?

I am not some weak little female who's life is dependent on another person. I am strong, stubburn, and independent. So what is up with me right now?

For the last couple of weeks, I have been getting a phone call from a certain young man, each evening. Yesterday, no phone call. For the last month, every Sunday he calls at noon. Today it struck noon, and no call. 1...2...3...4...5...NO CALL. okay, 6pm, and finally he calls, but I am not able to get the phone. I was at our school's International Food Fair, and I had a plate in one hand, my nephew in the other. As soon as I heard my phone, I rushed over and gave my nephew to my sister and went into the hall to wait for him to call back, becuase he always waits about a minute and then tries again. This time, NO CALL BACK. Nothing!

From that moment on, though I was still having a good time, still visiting, and trying out all the different foods, the thought that "he might call back", and "what if he doesn't??", never left my mind. I even held my stupid cell phone in my hand the whole rest of the time, just in case, so I couldn't possibly miss the next call, just on the off chance that he tried again. How pathetic!

That really erks me. I just want to be able to let go of thoughts and questions and have a good time, no matter what the circumstances are. I know that he is out having a good time, why shouldn't I? And I also know that he would think it was rediculous if he knew...

Well, my life doesn't start and stop with boys. I think now is a good time to get up and start moving on getting some homework done. It is almost 9pm, and I have hours worth of papers to write. Gotta get moving, no more time to waste making up stories.

On a side note, I had a fantastic time this weekend. My nephew is the cutest and smartest boy in the whole world as far as I am concerned, and I have the best sisters anyone could ask for. I am definately blessed. I'm so glad that Jeff is a good sport about hanging out with us :) I'm sure we can be completely overwhelming for him sometimes. hehe. And Joycelynn is a wonderful friend. I am so very happy to have her in my life. Speaking of Joycelynn, I need go return movies with her now, and then get my work done.

Must run...long long night ahead of me.

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