Monday, May. 31, 2004 - 1:57 a.m.

It's been really good for me to have Lori here this weekend. With Lydwin in Cali with mistymo all weekend, and my sister camping, and joycelynn sick, I would have been one lonely puppy. She picked a perfect weekend to come and visit :) I'm loving having her here. I'm not sure I'm gonna let her leave tomorrow :D

Today we went to a bbq at Lamont's house...that was fun (great food!!). It was kinda funny cuz while I was there, Lydwin and I were talking on our cells, and it struck us how funny it was that he was hanging out with my friend with out me, and I was hanging out with his friend without him. Strange actually. It didn't feel quite right.

Tho I don't like to think so, sometimes I wonder if I'm a jealous chicky. When we talked this weekend, there was always a lot going on on the other end, and he was pretty distracted, or else we could just barely hear eachother (we did a lot of repeating ourselves and talking very very loudly). We haven't had a real conversation all weekend. And I keep thinking, sheesh, this just isn't right that he's getting to hang out with misty, and misty is getting to hang out with lydwin, and I'm so far away!

Yeah, I guess I'm a little envious. I just miss him. A couple words here, and a couple words there, just don't cut it. He was saying at least we get to hear eachother's voices all the time...and yeah, that's true, but I'd much rather be able to see him face to face all the time!

I think it's getting hard for me. Thru boot camp I got a steady stream of lovey-dovey letters...3 months...it was long, but a month overseas, christmas, and starting grad school helped the time go by.

Then his second stage of training came, and he was able to borrow his friend's cell phones as often as he could to chat with me once in a while. That was awsome. Definately helped a LOT. That training phase seemed to go by faster.

Then his third stage came...finally he got his own cell phone. We could talk every single day, and it's a picture phone! Couldn't beat that. But the time was going slowly...I flew down to visit. Fastest weekend ever. So nice. Wonderful in fact! I didn't want to leave, and I know he didn't want me to leave either, and that was really hard.

Now, a month later he was able to come and see me, spent more time together, it was so perfect, now talking on the phone just isn't cutting it! Time is dragging.

I keep thinking that I made a mistake by coming here instead of going to Loma Linda. If I had gone there, he and I would only be a couple of hours drive away from eachother. We would be able to see eachother every weekend...I could be there with them right now.

Speaking of Loma Linda, they did call me a few days ago, they know I'm here in wally world, and they're wondering if I'm still thinking of going there at all.. i wonder how much longer it would take me if I DID transfer....I wonder if that's worth looking into. Thing is, I only have 2 quarters left...

Grief. I know I'm a stronger woman than this. Maybe I just need a good full night of sleep. That's it. I'm going to bed. Goodnight world.

previous - next